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Portrait of Baba
At the age of just 18 months old, my mother’s body succumbed to the violence of the polio virus that ravaged and consumed a significant portion of her nervous system. Following this initial attack, the virus withdrew and remained hidden in her body where it lay dormant only to be resurrected by the onset of aging. Now almost 70 years later, her body is once again under siege and held hostage to Post Polio Syndrome.
But.
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As a little girl, the pictures that I loved to draw usually involved my mother’s image and I always drew her with her disability. The crutches, wheelchairs and leg braces were to me as much a part of her as was her 80’s perm. They didn’t carry any meaning or significance; they were just her. It wasn’t until I grew older, when I noticed the reaction that other people had when they saw my mother, that I started to ‘see’ her disability. That was when my unprejudiced eyes saw the prejudice.
In this portrait, I wanted to depict the mother that I saw through my loving, pure and unprejudiced, childish eyes. The crutches rest nonchalantly behind the main figure. They are not centre stage. They are present but they do not demand attention or notice. What is far more striking is the brilliant yellow sunflower, spiralling gold threaded jacket, dazzling gold leaf laurel crowns (symbolising her artistic talents), and my mother’s large and sturdy hands from where she sources the majority of her physical strength. Always turning to face the sun, the sunflower symbolises steadfast devotion to a higher being. In this portrait, the sunflower turns towards, and is devoted to, my mother. She is the higher being that is adored.
I also wanted to use this portrait to think about why we become prejudiced. Should we impose order and perfection on the chaos that nature sometimes throws at us? I re-read Tom Stoppard’s ‘Arcadia’ and researched Fibonacci’s sequence. Spiralling sunflower seeds are said to be arranged at precisely 137.5 degrees: the golden angle. In identifying this sequence, Fibonacci looked at nature through a mathematical lens. His was a human desire to impose ordered perfection on the chaos of nature. However research suggests that around 1 in 5 sunflowers buck the trend and do not follow the sequence. Real life can be messy and nature isn’t always perfectly predictable. Does our human urge to look for perfected order prejudice our view of nature’s chaos? Sometimes, nature does buck the trend and it can leave our bodies in chaos. But rather than see this as a problem, should we not try to embrace it and see the beauty in these imperfections? Look at the randomly arranged strands of hair, the diverging veins in the leaves, the dips, folds and creases of the skin and the spirals of DNA-evoking golden threads on the jacket. They are not ordered but they are beautiful. Can we accept them?
Oil and 24ct gold leaf on board
68cm x 58cm x 5cm
Portrait of a Girl Dreaming
I found my daughter dreaming of magical far away lands, bathed in the golden hues of early morning summer sunshine. She’s on the cusp of growing up and leaving behind her childhood innocence…. but she doesn’t know that yet. So for now, I’ll leave her dreaming, captured in oils and blinding gold leaf …. before time does its work and takes her from me. Beautiful girl, don’t wake up to the world, not yet.
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This is a personal portrait, painted during the long summer holidays before my middle daughter started senior school. I knew she was about to grow up and I wanted to record some of the magical little girl that I could keep forever.
The golden hues and dazzling gold leaf petals, which sparkle and twinkle as if dancing around her frame, create the warmth of the sunny summer morning but also convey the otherworldliness of her dreams and the celestial and angelic nature of her childishness.
Oil and 24ct gold leaf on board
62cm x 62cm x 5cm
Portrait of a Girl and a Bee
Intuitively inquisitive, this little girl raises her arm to investigate and admire the natural world around her. The bee, a symbol of industriousness, it is also known for its concordial interactions and the sweetness of the fruits of its labour. This little girl is a very busy bee who loves nature.
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In this particular portrait, the gilded bee also reminds the sitter of her mother, who very sadly died of cancer when this little girl was only a few months old. Knowing that she did not have long to live, the mother wrote a journal for her daughter and ended it by asking her to always look after the bees.
Pencil and 24ct gold leaf on paper
54cm x 66cm x 2cm
Portrait of a Girl Reading
The words the girl reads emit light. The gilded gold leaf lettering enlightens her face and her mind: they enlighten her. What happened in May 1897 and why were the gates of Newnham stormed in 1921?
The trees in the background, like the flowers on her dress, are in full summer bloom. Perhaps we can assume that like the flora and foliage, her studies are abundant and fruitful.
The sundial behind our sitter reminds us that time is ticking and the days are passing. There is an urgency to her studies and the viewer may wonder why. The sitter’s tool of learning, the book she holds, is marked by a pomegranate. Often a symbol of fertility and marriage the pomegranate is a reminder of the myth of Persephone, a daughter whose fate it was to be trapped in darkness for six months of the year.
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Will a future call to motherhood one day conflict with her learning and hide this daughter from the light?
So many women and girls around the world today are sadly still denied the right to learn and to be enlightened. What hope do those young girls have? Is motherhood really their only role? And even if we are allowed to learn and work, can we really have it all anyway? How many of us have felt the frustrations of trying to balance the draw to motherhood with the desire to work. Is there any escape from a mother’s guilt?
It was particularly important for me that I chose one of my daughters to sit for this portrait. As a mother, I have encouraged all of my daughters to be dedicated to their learning, but I know only too well that if one day they chose motherhood, then they too will face the same conflict of interests that I did.
Oil and 24ct gold leaf on board
91cm x 71cm x 5cm
Portrait of a Wife, Mother, Artist
Who is she? And why does she stare at us from behind her vellum? She tells us that she is a wife, a mother and an artist. But why is she depicted in ghostly tones of grey and white while everything else dazzles and shines around her? Perhaps it is because she is often overlooked and under appreciated by society. These roles may not have any monetary value but is that their true worth? Why do we not value the work of the mother? Why, even today, do we not take women artists more seriously?
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Where are her roots? Are they found in the Yorkshire rose she proudly displays on her right arm. The rose is beautiful but sometimes prickly.
She wears a wedding dress which still fits after 17 years and three children. Are the aesthetics important to her? Her pose is controlled and a little stiff but with a slight curve in her back. The aesthetic pressures to look perfect are present but there is a hint that sometimes she slips up.
She surrounds herself with delicate and intricately entwined gold ribbons. It is a complex and mathematically prepared process. This is how she works. She is a perfectionist. The intwined forget me nots tell us that she wants to be remembered.
Etched not on paper but vellum; thin and delicate but with such strength that it can warp wooden panels. Appearances can be deceptive.
Pencil, gouache and 24ct gold leaf on loose vellum
88cm x 59cm x 7.5cm
Portrait of a Girl
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Soft and warming tones convey the sweetness and sheer delightfulness of this little girl.
Oil on board
55cm x 45cm x 4cm
A Family Tree
In this family tree, pomegranates, the symbol of marriage and fertility, have been coupled with pinks, the flowers of love and romance. The Yorkshire rose positioned directly above the marriage date, indicates where this loving union took place.
Forget me nots urge each family member to remember their heritage while the oak leaves represent the longevity and strength that underpin the ties that bind this family.
Coat of arms designed for illustration purposes only.
Gouache, shell gold, 24ct gold leaf on loose vellum
97cm x 69cm x 1cm
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